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The reality of children's online lives

When we talk about our online lives, it’s often as an add-on to ‘real life’. Something separate. But what makes our online lives any less real than offline lives? And why is it dangerous to think of them as separate?

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What is 'real' life?

What does ‘real life’ mean to you? Consider what you have been up to over the last week. How much of it was online? Whether planning a long weekend or chatting with mates, our daily life is inseparable from online life. 

children's online lives

two women in rollerblades looking at mobile phone

For young people, 'real life' is very much both online and offline. They stay in touch with friends online, make new friends, play games, network, earn money, start relationships. It can be a huge part of their identity.

For many, their online and physical lives are interwoven. Experiences online shape who they become. They are equally real and important. 

How was your day online?

‘How was your day at school’ probably rolls off the tongue by now, right? You might not get a thorough breakdown, but you ask because you’re interested.

Do we ask about their time online in the same way? We should. It’s just as important. We might ask, what games have you been playing today?

What have you been up to on Insta or Snap?

Asking questions about online life

boy looking at phone obscuring face

The best or most important thing that happened to a child that day may have happened in school. It may have happened online. They might have got an A in class or the highest score on a game. You might consider the former more important. But do they? 

Equally, bullying happens at school. It happens online. Children can be approached and befriended by criminals on the bus home. It can also happen through social media and gaming platforms. It happens everywhere. 

If we consider online lives as less ‘real’ than offline lives then we downplay the very real achievements and dangers of being online too.  

young man on computer

Staying safe online

Young people have the right to safe online lives. By understanding the dangers of being online, we can help keep children safe from exploitation and abuse. 

Knowing what to ask

Knowing what to ask can sometimes be the hardest thing. Many of us still can’t get our heads around a 16-year old earning millions from playing an online game. But it happens. You don’t need to understand how. You just need to acknowledge it’s real and show an interest.  

Keep it simple, ask what game they’re playing and who they play with. Be curious. Build a picture of their online life. If your child is bullied or groomed online, you will be in a better place to spot the signs and help them early on. 

Useful gaming terms

This glossary probably won't help you ‘stay down with the gamers’, sorry. But it gives you a fighting chance to understand what on earth they’re talking about when they tell you ‘I’ve got a new skin’.

Here are a few useful terms to understand: