Taking the debate on families forward
02 February 2009
Yesterday The Children's Society launched the results of our two-year inquiry into childhood to massive national interest. Over 30,000 people contributed to the inquiry and its publication caused a great deal of debate.
One of the most discussed topics was family. The inquiry looks at the impact of family separation on children, which we all know can be devastating. But it also says that that where there are high levels of conflict amongst the adults, separation may be in the best interest of the child. The most important factor is how we manage family conflict. That is why the report recommends counselling and support to couples facing difficulties.
The report also points out that although Sweden has similar rates of single-parent families, step-families and cohabitating couples, their children have a much higher well-being rating than in the UK.
One of the interesting findings quoted in the report is that 70% of teenagers agreed with the statement that “parents getting on well is one of the most important factors in raising happy children”. Only one third of parents agreed. Sometimes, as adults, we need to look at our relationships through the eye of our children and remind ourselves how important the way we conduct is to them.
The other much discussed topic was around women working. The Children’s Society believes that people should have greater choice about returning to work. This means two things. First, having sufficiently high quality child care and well qualified staff for those parents who choose to return to work. This doesn’t come cheap, but as the recent UNICEF report pointed out, we don’t spend us much as our European partners on pre-school child care. Second, we need to make the choice of staying at home a realistic option. This requires more flexibility in parternity and maternity leave as recommended in The Good Childhood report.
One question that has been aired as a result of the report is whether women's financial independence has contributed to family breakdown. It's true that financial independence can make it easier to leave a relationship, but it would be a mistake to see it as a cause for a relationship breakdown.
The Children's Society works with children in all types of family structure: children living with single parents, step parents, co-habitating parents and married parents. We witness daily and are often humbled by the love, care and support that parents provide to their children, often despite experiencing significant economic and social disadvantages. But for those children and families where love is not at the centre of their relationships or where they require some support to navigate the difficult paths and choices that they have to make, we and other organisations like ours, need to be there for them. We make no judgements on family stucture; our organisation exists to support all children in need.
Bob Reitemeier
